My Shawn

“Good morning Shawn.” Mrs. Lilly said for about the hundredth time. Mrs. Lilly has a little place of her own, lives alone, and finds comfort in the community aspect of RCM. She visits us about 3 times a week and always greets me this way. It would be really sweet, except my name isn’t Shawn!

Mrs. Lilly is one of the first people I met upon coming to RCM. She has no teeth, and can be difficult to understand, but she loves to sing. She sings old spirituals, new praise songs, old church standards, and especially songs of her own invention set to the tune of old classics. She reads everything she can get her hands on (including an entire encyclopedia set, article by article, someone donated) and asks me every day if I have something new for her to read. And I better never give a book to anyone else unless I also have a copy for her or she says “I’m gonna get you Shawn!” Again, this is not my name! I found it hard to believe that someone that is on this familiar of a level with me could not know my name.

Finally, one day I said, “I’m not Shawn, Mrs. Lilly, I’m Steven.”

“You’re my Shawn.” She said. Now I was even more confused! But, hey, if this sweet old lady insists on calling me another name, what’s the harm?

Then the craziest thing happened. Mrs. Lilly brought a friend to meet me and she said “This is Steven, he’s my shawn, the preacher.” And it finally hit me! She wasn’t saying Shawn at all! She was calling me her son this whole time! As I mentioned, her toothless speech can be hard to understand. Here I was feeling that she didn’t even bother to remember my name and the whole time she loved me enough to call me her son! How often do we miss what we mean to people and what they really mean to us? How often do we miss the blessings of human connection and compassion that God gives us? Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize the blessing of being where I am and having the place in people’s lives, and the people in my life, that I do.

“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits” - Psalm 103:2 NIV

“That is why you are no longer foreigners and outsiders but citizens together with God’s people and members of God’s family” - Eph. 2:19 GW

What's your worth?

How much are you worth? What’s your first thought?  I’m priceless? Cynics would say we all have a price. Judas for thirty pieces of silver sold his beliefs and his friend (not to mention savior), Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup, politicians sell out for campaign endorsements, and we sell out to peer pressure all the time. But if you had to stop, think about it, and put a price tag on yourself, what is your worth?

I can’t say I ever gave much thought to it until the other day. Here is what shook me up.

“I found him!” Angie told me. She was obviously upset, but I had no idea who “he” was, so I asked. “The guy who gave me AIDS! At least I think it was, because he was there for treatment the same time I was.”

Empathizing is not the difficult part of my job, but sometimes comprehending is. What would it be like A) to know you have a deadly autoimmune disease, and B) to see the person who give it to you? I honestly cannot begin to imagine what is going on in her heart, mind, body, or soul… all I can do is love her, listen to her, and “mourn with those who mourn.”

“The woman at the desk saw that I recognized him. She said ‘he’s been getting treatment for a while.’ But I know him! He knows he has AIDS and what he’s doing, Steven. He buys a different girl every night!!

“I talked to my case worker about it and she said I should report him… it’s a crime. So, pray for me, cause I’m going down to the police office to report him. I’m so scared, but someone has to do it so no one else gets sick by him. Those girls have no idea; they were just like me. They don’t know that for $10 they are being killed… a long, lonely, painful death.”

 

$10… I heard very little after that. $10? All of this, the AIDS, the prostitution… all of it is new to me, but $10?! If it was $100 it wouldn’t make it any less sad and terrible. But you want to believe that someone’s body, life, safety, health, and dignity are worth more than $10.

This really changed things for me, because Angie and I have been talking for a long time. One thing that nearly always comes up is her value. To be honest, it's a conversation I have with every battered man and woman I meet. “Whatever you have been told or made to feel, you have value! I value you, and more importantly, God values you, enough to give His Son for you. You deserve better than the life that you’ve had.” I mean these words, every fiber of my being is committed to this belief and to convincing these precious children of God of this truth… and yet it often seems to fall on deaf ears. The reason for this finally hit me. In her mind, Angie is worth $10.

What would you have to go through to lower your worth to that price? That, my brothers, is the true cost of sin. Satan robs me of my worth and leaves me with the guilt and the pain. But, Christ offers forgiveness, He makes me new, He makes me a joint heir, He exalts me from my humble, miserable state, strengthens my weak knees and helps me to stand.

It may take a long time for Angie to experience that, for her to see herself as a precious, beloved, child of the King, but that is why it’s important for someone to commit himself to giving as much time as it takes. This is why it’s important for her to be greeted with love rather than reproach, with a smile instead of a scowl, a prayer and uplifting word in place of a curse, and the love of Christ instead of the judgment of the self-righteous. It is a tall order for someone who has had the luxury of being sheltered from this world must of his life. But Jesus didn’t turn from the woman caught in adultery, he didn’t reject Levi, or Zacchaeus, the tax collectors just because he had never done the things they did. He connected with them in their suffering. He saw their worth, just as He sees Angie’s.  I can’t take her pain away but I can sit with her in that pain. I can show her the love she shows me, and our Lord shows us both.

 “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you…” (Isaiah 43:4 ESV).

Reaching the Poor

A question which I am often asked and weighs heavily on my heart is how to reach the poor. I have given this topic much thought and I take it to God every day, seeking for the answer. Here is what He has given me.

The answer, as I see it, begins with asking a deep soul searching question. How dirty are you willing to get your hands? Seriously, look at what Jesus did. When Jesus began His “war on poverty,” if I may borrow President Johnson’s phrase, He was completely intentional in all He did. By this I mean that it was no mistake that when He was born there was “no place” for Him or His parents. It was no coincidence that his parents were so poor they paid the beggars tax of two turtle doves when they went to the temple. It was not mere happenstance that Jesus became a homeless man that had “no place to lay his head.” It was not because of a wrong turn that Jesus ended up in Samaria with a woman the world shunned. It was not by chance that Jesus befriended the prostitute, tax collector, sinner, leper, thief, and outcast.

 

Jesus fully embraced the poor and their world. He walked in their shoes, he felt their pain, their hunger, their rejection, their sorrow and their loneliness. He didn’t judge, but instead saw the humanity, the value, the person He created, deep within the sinner. He did know “what sort of woman” washed His feet, and He looked at her with love, not disgust. Seeing the lost and lonely state of man, knowing what it was to have no place in this world, He called out to them, He showed them that they were valuable, He created a place for them by making them His community, His family, He gave them hope, He made them His life, and then He gave His life for them. Nothing that He did was not intentional. And He didn’t do this so we wouldn’t have to, He did it to show us how.

 

 

 So, I ask again, how dirty are you willing to get your hands? Are you prepared to step out of your comfort zone and into another world? Are you prepared to make room in your life, to prepare a place for those who have no place? Can you forget everything you think you know about the poor and see their precious souls?

Our goal at River City Ministry is to serve in the spirit of Matthew 25, while seeking and saving the lost (Luke 19:10). We believe that the work that Jesus said he came to do in Luke 4:18-19 is the same work we are here to continue. We thank you for your concern, support and love. Thank you for providing me the opportunity to learn firsthand how to reach the poor. Please continue to pray for us and for the poor and homeless. God bless you all.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” (Luke 4:18-21).

Into the Depths of Me

For God so loved the World that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Do you believe that? Do you believe that it means that God love you, individually, enough to sacrifice His Son for you?

To be honest, I still struggle with this. I believe it, but I cannot understand it. Like David, I ask "Lord, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them?"

Do you believe that God looks at you, that He looks into the very depth of you, that He sees you for exactly who you are and loves you enough to give His Son for you?
 

We are told that Jesus did not need anyone to tell him anything about men because He saw into the hearts of men. I think it is safe to say that the way that Jesus ministered to people was show them what He saw, the person within. He showed them the person they forgot they were, the person He created them to be.

I am grateful for all God has done to help me see who He made me to be. I'm glad He sees past all my shortcomings and all the labels other put on me.

When Jesus looks out at people, He doesn't see what the world sees. They call us junkies, bums, drunks, fools, thugs, tramps, screw-ups, dope-heads, losers, hypocrites, heathens, trash, liars, cheats, criminals...  like Everlast's song "What It's Like" says, "they call her a killer, they call her a sinner, they call her a whore." But that's not what Jesus sees. Looks with compassion on us shepherdless sheep and sees Children of God who have lost sight of who they really are.
 

When Jesus had a woman dragged before Him and was asked if she should be executed, He didn't see an adulteress, He saw a woman caught in adultery. He saw past the label, past the sin, to the women that the sin was hurting. By saving her from her would-be-killers, he showed her she was more than a sinner, she was capable of getting up, leaving her past behind and "sinning no more."
 

But Jesus was not always gentle when He showed people how to discover who they were. Consider the people who came and said they wanted to follow Him.

One was an eager young man. He was a good kid; he loved God and believed Jesus. He was not only a good man, he was wealthy. In the eyes of the disciples, this was the type of follower any Rabbi would be blessed to have; he was young, rich, powerful, he knew all about God, and had a desire to follow. In their eyes, if anyone was going to make it, it was this guy. The world saw a man who was all he should be, but Jesus saw another man who was trapped and needed to be set free.
 

The young man ran up eagerly and asked what he needed to do to have the eternal life Jesus talked about. When Jesus said that he should know what to do if he read the commandments, the boy was proud to say that he had always followed them. But then Jesus hit at the heart of it all. He hit at what was keeping this young man from being who God always knew he could to be. He saw a man who was owned by his possessions and gave him the words to set him free. "You just lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasures in Heaven. Then come and follow me."

Jesus didn't beat around the bush, he didn't give the guy slow steps to become less attached to his stuff; no, Jesus said get rid of it. Anything that would keep this young man from serving God with all his heart was a poison to him that had to go.
 

This was too much for the young man, he could not let go. He had no words to express his sorrow, he just turned and left. Following Christ had too high a cost.
 

Like the rich young ruler, most of us don’t mind Jesus making some minor changes in our lives but Jesus wants to turn our lives upside down. What Jesus wants is a complete renovation not little touch-up, an overhaul not a tune up, a makeover, not a little make up. Jesus wants to remodel, not redecorate, a commitment, not a decision.  Jesus wants to be your life, not just a part of it. Jesus is not interested in a casual relationship, He wants the real thing.
 

Jesus wanted to peel back all the layers that stood between this man and the image of God. Jesus sees it in us all, and He asks us to get rid of everything in the way. But, the rich young ruler held on to who he had become and missed out on who God always knew He could be. He didn't really know himself, and though he knew all about him, he didn't really know his God.
 

I have been there. When I was in preaching school, I memorized over 100 verses in my first quarter. By the end, I had memorized the book of James, half of I Corinthians and hundreds of other passages. But I couldn't really tell you what it meant. Sure I could tell you what my teachers told me, I could parrot it back, but I knew nothing from sitting with God and His word and getting to know Him. I knew all about God, but I didn't know Him, and my relationship with Him was very shallow.

One day, while memorizing a passage I planned to speak on, I realized that I knew very little about what it actually said. I saw preachers who memorized large portions of the Bible preach shallow sermons that really told me nothing about God or my walk with Him. Then it hit me, I was looking at a mirror of myself. I saw the effect that this had on the way I lived. Though I did not recognize it at the time, I was beginning to see that I was not who God always intended me to be. I needed to get to know my God and get to know the real me.
 

The failure of the rich young ruler was a shock to the disciples. All they saw was what the man had; they had no clue who he was. Jesus was not surprised, but he was saddened. He said it is easier to fit a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom.

The disciples were devastated by this, they asked "Then who can be saved?!" And Jesus reminded them that what is impossible for men is possible with God.

Little did they know, they were about to witness the impossible.

When another wealthy man heard that Jesus was passing through his town, he ran ahead of the crowd and climbed a tree just to catch a glimpse of Jesus. When Jesus saw Zacchaeus, he called him down and told him that he was coming over for dinner. He was overjoyed to have Jesus come and eat with him in his own house.

The people of the town had a different attitude. They were insulted! How could Jesus go into the house of a tax collector and eat with such a sinner. Once again, they were looking at the outward man. All they saw was a man who worked in a profession they hated and considered a betrayal of all they stood for. Zacchaeus was used to be rejected by everyone around him. He was used to being hated, after all, who likes the tax man. He was used to being judged and wearing the labels everyone put on him. But Jesus saw a man whose heart was given to God. He saw a giving, loving, and faithful man.

After this one encounter with Jesus, Zacchaeus gave half of all he had to the poor and swore if he cheated anyone that he would repay them four times the amount.
 

Jesus did not ask Zacchaeus to do this. This was just what Zacchaeus felt God wanted of him. This was just the kind of man Zacchaeus was. This was the kind of man God always knew Zacchaeus could be. "This day salvation has come to this house," Jesus said. That day a camel did fit through the eye of a needle, because a rich man entered God's Kingdom.
 

Zacchaeus was not a collection of labels people put on him; tax collector, sinner, cheat, etc., he was not the mistakes he made; his identity was not in what he owned. No, he was a child of God on his way home.
 

His journey into the depths of himself began with his encounter with Jesus. My journey began in the same way. I asked God for about a year to help me see His will and to open up His word and show me what He wanted me to see. He showed me who He is and who He knew I could be. He made me fall in love with His Son and made me take a good hard look at the mission He gave Him.  I had always been concerned with what God wanted me to DO, but He really wanted to show me who I was made to BE. He showed me that underneath it all I had a heart like His. And you know what? You do too.
 

Seeing who God is, and understanding that all His children have the same heart and goal, helped me to see my part in His plan. I looked for some huge epiphany, and maybe that is what the rich young ruler expected, but it was no striking revelation, it was a simple truth I overlooked. I saw the heart of Christ displayed in action, the gospel summed up in four words: Go, Give, Love, Serve. Four things that God knows are key to use becoming who He intends for us to be.
 

Go where God calls you. Christ left the glory of Heaven and came to this world because it was God's will. Having a heart like Jesus means when I pray for God to guide me, I'm not afraid of the doors He opens, I have the courage to step through them. I worship with a man, a good friend, who left his home and all he had to live in the woods because God called him to leave it all, be still, and come to know Him. That is courage, that is faith, that is what the heart of Jesus looks like, and that is the man that God always knew this man could be. It may sound crazy to you, but isn't that what Jesus said about those who are born of the Spirit? Like the wind, no one understands where they come from or where they are going.

Give what you have. Jesus gave up heaven to give us access to it, He gave up life to give us life eternal, He gave up glory to sit us with him in heavenly realms, whatever He had, He gave. Having a heart like Jesus mean I stop focusing on all the things I don’t have to give and I give what I do have. My friend John never had wealth; he actually had very little materially. But John gave his time every day to come to River City Ministry and serve our poor and homeless friends. It did not matter how long a shift he just finished or how little sleep he had, time and love was what he had and that is what he gave to others for the glory of His God. God knew this was who John was, even when no one around him, not even John himself, could see it. When John came to know His God, he discovered the man he was meant to be, and that is the man he became.

Love actively. "Jesus loved his own who were in the world, and he loved them to the end," and that end was the cross. Having a heart like Jesus means love without limits. When I learn to live by His love it will change my life. Love your brothers and sisters, love your neighbor, love your fellow man, and love your enemy, for this is how you love God. How do I love? By serving.

Serve like the Savior. Jesus did not come to be served to be a servant to all and give His life as a ransom for many. Having a heart like Jesus means letting go of my pride. If I keep thinking “let someone else do that,” or I think anything that another person needs is below mine, I will never be a servant. If we wait to find someone we think deserves serving, we will miss those who need it. Or have we forgotten, Jesus washed everyone’s feet, not Just John’s, the only one who showed up at the foot of the cross.

I never knew I had it in me to be the kind of man who lived this way, but God did. Do you have the courage to stare into the depths of yourself and find the person God always knew you to be? Do you have the courage and dedication to remove anything that stands in the way of you becoming all you can be? Will you let Him recreate you in His image? Are you ready for a new life in Him? Which story will be yours? Will you sadly accept who the world says you are, turn from the master, and walk away? Or will you see what God sees in you, follow him and live a changed life? Only you can write the ending to your story. What will your story say you chose when you encountered the real Jesus?