Stepping Out of the Shadows

I feel like I've spent most of my life in someone else's shadow. The ironic thing is I don't know that any of those whose shadows I've been in even knew they cast one.

My father's the Bible study king. He's the lone wolf who walks into a town, finds a church with 7 or 8 members, works his tail off studying with anyone  who will give him the time of day for a few short years and builds that church to sustainability before he moves on. That was my childhood; moving into churches that seemed like they were dried up and leaving them  8x the size they were when he got there. I watched him drive 10+ hours a week to go to hospitals in the nearest urban centers (which were never near) to visit whoever was sick, sit by the bedside of the dying, from the time hospice care brought them home 'til the time the coroner took them away, then I listened to him preach a funeral so full of hope that the whole family obeyed the gospel. I watched him do tent meetings when people were dripping with sweat or trying not to blow away. Then I watched him take abuse from the same people or the ones who sat by the sidelines and didn't raise a finger to help... but he never gave up. 30 years he's preached. I was there when he did all this and worked a second job, and I was there when Southern Christian University (now Amridge) honored him with a rural evangelism/domestic missions award. I never fit those shoes.

In my first full time work, all I ever heard was how much better brother McLoud was at everything. You see, he didn't leave his post at that church, he died after preaching there for 30+ years. That's a shadow you really can't step out from under.

I came to RCM and, after one year of being apprenticed, had to step up and take my mentor's spot as evangelist. It wasn't just that I was under-prepared, this guy was some sort of super-apostle. Okay, I don't mean it in the way Paul used it, I mean he brought people to Christ in droves. He had 30 years of urban and prison ministry under his belt and was in his wheelhouse. He was the kind of evangelist you very rarely come into contact with. Trust me, when someone like that needs someone to take their place not many jump up saying "Pick me! I can do that!" It was more of a gulp with a good deal of sweating.

So, I have a closet full of oversized shoes, shadows looming over, and self confidence issues to boot. How on earth do you minister from that spot? ... No, really! Please tell me if you know, because I'm 18 months in and still don't fully understand.

You see, I don't see myself in the company of these guys. I think I belong with Thomas, Gideon, and Amos, struggling with my doubt. Maybe I'm meant to be a herdsman or farmer, Lord. Maybe you got the wrong guy. My father is the younger son, maybe you are looking for his brother's kid, you know?

When I get criticized, just like any of my betters got criticized, I have trouble not believing they have the sum of who I am. When someone tells me I'm not the evangelist any of them are, I know it's true. So I do all I know to do... I go to God.

This New Year, I made my prayer "Lord, open my eyes like Elisha's servant so I can see as you see." I prayed this thinking God needed to help me to see others more clearly... but He swiftly opened my eyes to see myself.

I was visited by people I studied with and baptized.

Tony and I were close and we went round and round. I knew he could do better than he believed he could. He didn't think he could leave drugs or women alone. And, for a time, because he believed that, he was right. He ran off after a woman and they drugged it up together. It's been nearly two years since I've seen Tony.

As I sat working at my computer the other day, who should call but Tony. "Hey Steven, you probably don't remember me..." immediately I recognized Tony's voice and called him by his full name.
"Oh, good! I... uh, well, I've changed a lot since the last time we talked. I had a son and... I wanted to be a good dad. I had to leave his mom, 'cause she's still doing drugs, but I started going to meetings and I've been clean for a year now, since the day my son was born. I'm still working out here and I just got the news that I made shift manager and I'm going to church. I just wanted you to know... I'm not a screw up... I'm a dad, and a pretty good one too. Well, that's all.. I just wanted you to know."

I'll let you imagine my elated response. My heart rejoiced for Tony. That same week, two more people I studied with in the passed contacted me to tell me how they changed and how God was blessing them. I'll share their stories another time.

Then yesterday "the bird man" (not the one from Alcatraz, sorry), who has only ever asked for a payer when he was too drunk to stand, sat in my office and said, "we need to talk. I've never agreed to talk to you 'cause I wasn't done drinking and I didn't want to hear you tell me I needed to stop. But I had my birthday last month. I'm in my 50s, and for some reason God gave me another year. I sat drinking on my birthday and I looked at my bottle. I told that bottle it didn't get another year of my life. And that's the last one I drank. I said I'd stop smoking too... but I didn't stick to that one. I figured it's time we talked. I know the Bible, I come from a family of preachers. They told me on Christmas I'm Jonah and I need to stop running. I'm a Christian, it's just time I looked like one and lived like one." So, we prayed for God to restore him and talked about how we could walk forward in this together.

When God gives, He doesn't give with one hand, but with both, not holding back. He helped me realize something. I'm not meant to stand in the shadows of my father, my predecessor, or my mentor. I stepped out of their shadow and took my place behind the only example I should be standing behind, my Savior. Now, that doubtful part of me expected a long shadow behind such a supreme teacher and leader... but you know what I found?
... Paul said it better than I can:
"But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Cor. 3:16-18).

Paul understood! As great of an evangelist as he was, it wasn't Paul on Pentecost whose preaching brought thousands to the Lord in one day. He, at times left cities, great urban centers, like Athens, with two converts. But that didn't mean Dionysius and Damaris were worth any less than any of those baptized on Pentecost. Seeing his worth in Christ, Paul said he was in no way inferior to the other apostles, even though he was "the chief of sinners."  

I realized there was no shadow hiding me, just Christ's light enhancing mine. He is the light of the world. It doesn't matter how equipped I may be, if I will humble myself, be His servant, and surrendered to Him, His light will shine in me and I become the light of the world, just as He told his disciples. The same goes for you.

Shine on my brothers and sisters! Shine On!

Tears

Tears. It was that kind of day.
From a mother with 4 kids stranded in LR who is helped to feed them and get them 3 hours back to their home.
From a man who has failed so many times at getting things right, but asks the Lord for one more try.
...

From a man who was found on the ground behind the dumpster this morning. Badly beaten , broken and bloody. (Thank the Lord for ambulances and paramedics)
From a middle aged lady who received her new teeth today,
and when she saw herself in the mirror was overcome with joy.
Praise the Lord for providing whatever is needed. Tenth chances, healing hands, a way home and a new smile.

Not Just a Homeless Shelter

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you how proud I am of Mieka, one of our summer interns. Today I want to tell you about one of our other interns, Jake. I could write about the heart he has for the hurting and brag on how well he is doing, but instead I will just share what he wrote about his experience, it says more than I ever could.

The Ministry: Part 1

I have not had the opportunity to share my views on here lately but now I am going to share something quite different. This summer I am an intern at an inner city church and a ministry for the impoverished. The latter of the two is commonly referred to as a homeless shelter, but that could not be further from the truth, which I will address later. I want to share my experiences here and attempt to recreate the shock and enlightenment I have received in these short two weeks.

 

I would like to start with explaining why I carefully chose my words and wrote ministry for the impoverished. Someone came up to me one day last week and asked me how the homeless shelter was going. The first emotion that raced through my veins was anger. But, as I stopped and thought about it, I remembered that I thought the same thing before I started working there. See, the clients (the term used for the people at the ministry) are not all homeless. Are there some clients here that are homeless? Absolutely. However, there are people here who have their own place, who have a job, but have just run into some absolutely terrible luck and turned to this ministry. 

Every week I want to share an uplifting story that shows how God moves in this ministry that I either see or experience myself. Every day before lunch is served there is a devotional, and if you attend you have first dibs at the line. Yesterday I was supposed to lead the devotional (A short 10-15 minute) sermon, and to be honest I completely forgot. When I got to the ministry I immediately began writing trying to fill time and get through it without too much embarrassment. I was about 3 seconds away from getting up and telling the director of the ministry that I was not prepared to give my sermon, but before I could get up a man walked in to the office I was in and asked me if I could listen. He did not ask for a conversation, he asked me to listen. He sat down on the chair across from me in the 15 square foot office and shut the door. My mind and heart were racing because my immediate supervisor was on vacation and this was the first time I had one-on-one interaction. The man then began to proceed to tell me everything that he thought was going wrong in his life. His girlfriend was being argumentative so he turned to alcohol. His alcohol abuse turned him to cocaine. His cocaine turned him to pornography. By the time his benders were over he cursed himself and told himself he was the scum of the earth. He had an incredible knowledge of the Bible and as he was explaining what was going on he would stop and quote the verse where he knew it said what he was doing was wrong. He kept emphasizing that he had judged himself to harshly and that he could not forgive himself for what he had done.

I sat there and listened completely and utterly astounded. The exact thing that he was talking about struggling with was the same thing I was addressing in my sermon that I almost backed out of. We talked until the devotional had to start and when I went up to the makeshift podium, there was a sense of incredible calm in me. Not 20 minutes earlier, my knees were shaking and here I was smiling and joking like I had done this a million times. The devo started with the most beautiful singing I had ever heard. There were people missing notes left and right, and there were people not even singing at all, but the situation we were in made those few songs absolutely beautiful. I gave my sermon and it was received beautifully. I kept looking at the man who talked with me earlier and he just kept smiling and nodding his head. Afterwards he told me he wanted to fix what he had done. He wanted to end the cycle that he thought never ended. This morning I helped set him up with a local cocaine anonymous group, something I never thought I would say as long as I lived. But God has always had a sense of turning what you know and what you want upside down. This internship has already been one of the greatest physical and spiritual experiences of my life. The even better news: I still have seven more weeks.

 Luke 9:2 “He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal”

In Him,

Jake Russenberger

Posted on June 16 by jrussenberger at thenarcolepticpenguin.wordpress.com

Thank God we have young people like Mieka, Jake, Tori, and Sara who are willing to dedicate their summers to this work because of a clear understanding of who Christ is and what he expects of us. Please pray for God to bless these wonderful interns and send us more people with beautiful hearts like theirs. 

*Picture used by permission and does not show the man described in the story.

Seeing Jesus

Actually seeing Jesus is life changing! Paul's Christian journey which lead to the founding of numerous churches, countless converts, and the shaping of Christianity as we know it all began with seeing Jesus. It shook up this man's world and lead him to change his life and follow his true calling.

Sadly, many Christians claim they've never seen Jesus and don't expect to, unless it's when they meet Him in the air. But, I encourage you to do as the song says: "Take a look, open your eyes, He's here in plain view."

Jesus takes many forms, but you can be sure, anywhere the love of God is being shared, you can find Him there. I caught a glimpse of Him just the other day. Mieka is one of our summer interns, and she's just the person we needed. She can sit down and talk with anyone, she shares her love freely, and serves gladly in any way she can. Probably the greatest strength I've seen in Mieka is that she intuitively knows who is hurting and needs a little extra help and attention. Mieka helps Deb in our Ladies Bible Study, and this is what I saw:

That, dear friends, is were I saw my Lord. I see His face and His heart in Mieka's love and care for the hurting. She took time to make one of the most fragile women I know feel loved, safe, and special. Wherever the hurting find healing, the lonely find love, and the weary find a friend to share their load, you can see Jesus there.

Grateful

       After a long night studying for my midterm, I finally crawled into bed and began my regular routine of bedtime prayer followed by listening to an audiobook until sleep comes. At 2:40, my 20 month old, who still can’t grasp the concept of sleep, woke me up. By 4:45, she finally started sleeping steadily, but I couldn’t sleep. I gave up, got up, and grumbled all the way to the shower. As I brewed, I remembered a lesson I learned a long time ago.

I often visited RCM before I began my apprenticeship. The youth group and I would worship with River City Church and then prepare lunch at the ministry. At that time, my understanding of serving the poor amounted to a vague sense that Jesus expected us to do something for the poor. One visit, I sat talking with the first person I ever met who lived under a bridge. I thought trolls were the only people living under bridges, and furry green grouches were the only people living in trash cans (since, I’ve met several people, no grouchier than you or me, who spend nights huddled in dumpsters to stay safe and dry). I couldn’t help but think how devastated I would be if this was my life. Church service began while I sat stunned, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to do. That same man got up and reminded us of what we had to be thankful for, but maybe not in the way you think. He didn’t tell us how blessed we were, no, he told us how blessed he was.

“God has seen me through so much. I should be dead, but He protected me when I was in a gang, even when I had a knife to my throat, He protected me. He didn’t let my sin or my stupidity get in the way. He showed me patience. He let me wake up to a warm dry day, He made it a joy to be outside. He gave me a family here that loves and accepts me. He gave me time to come to Him, time to change. So today, I get to walk in His world, enjoy its beauty, and listen to what His creation tells me about Him.”

When he finished, those of us who knew his story sat in tears. I have a wife, children, job, and home and I don’t wake up that thankful. He taught me that we choose the tone of our narrative, we don’t have to just whistle along to the devil’s tune. He, like Paul, learned to be content in whatever state he found himself (Phil. 4:11). Not just content, grateful.

I stood this morning at the bathroom mirror, I recalling that lesson and staring ingratitude in the face. I thanked God for my beautiful, healthy, precious, sleepless children. It changed my attitude. I went to watch the sunrise over one of my favorite spots on earth. I listened to the choir of birds and babbling brook and, like my teacher, listened to what God’s creation taught me about Him. God speaks as loudly through the hard concrete slab beneath a bridge as He does through the beauty of the sunrise. God speaks everywhere and through everything if we have the ears, eyes, and heart to recognize it. I pray you find the words of this dear brother as life altering and comforting as I have.

My Shawn

“Good morning Shawn.” Mrs. Lilly said for about the hundredth time. Mrs. Lilly has a little place of her own, lives alone, and finds comfort in the community aspect of RCM. She visits us about 3 times a week and always greets me this way. It would be really sweet, except my name isn’t Shawn!

Mrs. Lilly is one of the first people I met upon coming to RCM. She has no teeth, and can be difficult to understand, but she loves to sing. She sings old spirituals, new praise songs, old church standards, and especially songs of her own invention set to the tune of old classics. She reads everything she can get her hands on (including an entire encyclopedia set, article by article, someone donated) and asks me every day if I have something new for her to read. And I better never give a book to anyone else unless I also have a copy for her or she says “I’m gonna get you Shawn!” Again, this is not my name! I found it hard to believe that someone that is on this familiar of a level with me could not know my name.

Finally, one day I said, “I’m not Shawn, Mrs. Lilly, I’m Steven.”

“You’re my Shawn.” She said. Now I was even more confused! But, hey, if this sweet old lady insists on calling me another name, what’s the harm?

Then the craziest thing happened. Mrs. Lilly brought a friend to meet me and she said “This is Steven, he’s my shawn, the preacher.” And it finally hit me! She wasn’t saying Shawn at all! She was calling me her son this whole time! As I mentioned, her toothless speech can be hard to understand. Here I was feeling that she didn’t even bother to remember my name and the whole time she loved me enough to call me her son! How often do we miss what we mean to people and what they really mean to us? How often do we miss the blessings of human connection and compassion that God gives us? Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize the blessing of being where I am and having the place in people’s lives, and the people in my life, that I do.

“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits” - Psalm 103:2 NIV

“That is why you are no longer foreigners and outsiders but citizens together with God’s people and members of God’s family” - Eph. 2:19 GW

An Expression of Divine Unity

Before there was time, there was a Holy Community. The Almighty, the Word, and the Spirit. These three were one and lived in Perfect Holy Unity, just as they do today. So there has always been community. At some point this Sacred Trio chose to incorporate a new creation into their Devine Circle; Holy Angels. These servant companions we created to share in the perfectly unified community of Heaven.

Then, the Godhead held Holy Council and conceived of a plan, a plan so grand all the angels were intrigued with it, but God shrouded it in mystery deep within the Word to be reviled in the distant future of the Divine Drama. This, Paul called “the purpose of the ages,” and was the reason for all temporal creation.

The first clue to this Holy Mystery was revealed in the statement; “Let Us make man in Our own image, in Our very likeness…” Yes, our God chose not only to include mankind in His Sacred Community, but He chose to produce on earth a collective body of people who reflect the unity of the Trinity.

Christ came to create the community, prayed to unify this group, and died so He could be embodied by these people.

He called the disciples to follow Him, gave them new names and a new purpose, He shared with them the greatest gift; Himself. He continually corrected their selfishness and showed them what true community looked like. When His time with them on earth was nearly complete, he prayed:

“Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one... My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one… My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:11-26 NIV).

 

He left this life with the assurance that the Spirit would fill them, empower them, perfect them, and unify them. As the Spirit moved in God’s chosen community, men and angels stopped and took notice!

Paul said, “God told me to make clear to everyone how the mystery came about. In times past it was kept hidden in the mind of God, who created all things. He wanted the rulers and authorities in the heavenly world to come to know his great wisdom. The church would make it known to them. That was God’s plan from the beginning. He has worked it out through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Ephesians 3:9-11 NIRV).

God doesn't give us just any place in this community. No! He ties us more closely to Him than we can be with anyone or anything else. He lives in us through His Spirit and we make up who He is in His Son.

“So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” (Eph. 4:11-16 NIV).

“We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ… God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:2-7 NIV).

So the Godhead brings about His great, eternal, work; drawing us into Divine Unity. But! There is another force at work, one at work destroying this fellowship ever since God began to reveal it. Our adversary lead Adam and Eve out of perfect unity with God, tried to drive Job from his relationship with God, deceived David, the king of God's Holy people, accused the High Priest Joshua who was appointed to serve in drawing the people closer to God, tempted and attacked the Lord in His work to reestablish mankind’s fellowship with God, and is still driving a wedge between us and the Holy Community.

One way he loves to do this is by setting us at odds with each other. This is why Paul warns us: “Finally, let the Lord make you strong. Depend on his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor. Then you can stand firm against the devil’s evil plans. Our fight is not against human beings. It is against the rulers, the authorities and the powers of this dark world. It is against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly world. So put on all of God’s armor. Evil days will come. But you will be able to stand up to anything. And after you have done everything you can, you will still be standing.” (Eph. 6:10-13 NIRV)

But Satan wants us to believe it is a battle against flesh and blood so we fight against our brothers and sisters, our fellow man, instead of him! This is why we should pray for ourselves what Elisha prayed for his servant: And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. – (2 Kings 6:17 NIV).

What better weapon could Satan have than causing us to believe he's not acting when he really is. When we hear about Satan appearing, demons possessing, rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world and the heavenly world we immediately relegate it to Biblical times and in our minds all these have become little more than myths. Meanwhile Satan convinces us that, instead of making up Christ and finding our identity there, we are just sinners saved by grace. This way we accept that, at our best, we are just sinners. The truth is this; we may not be perfect but we are being perfected by God’s Spirit. But Satan would have us focus on our imperfections, or, better yet, the imperfections of others. Now we are back to warring with the very people with whom God wants us united.

When we have the eyes of faith to see where the true battle lies and who the true enemy is, it becomes a simple choice of who we want to be united with: The Godhead or the devil. So which is it? Do you want to share in the perfectly unified community which is older than time? Do you want to take your place in forming the very identity of Christ? Partaking of the divine nature, as Peter calls it? Or do you want to be a play thing in the hands of the adversary? Make your choice. Take a stand. Don’t miss out on fulfilling the greatest mystery of universe, the purpose of the ages, and the plea of God’s Holy Son.

What's your worth?

How much are you worth? What’s your first thought?  I’m priceless? Cynics would say we all have a price. Judas for thirty pieces of silver sold his beliefs and his friend (not to mention savior), Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup, politicians sell out for campaign endorsements, and we sell out to peer pressure all the time. But if you had to stop, think about it, and put a price tag on yourself, what is your worth?

I can’t say I ever gave much thought to it until the other day. Here is what shook me up.

“I found him!” Angie told me. She was obviously upset, but I had no idea who “he” was, so I asked. “The guy who gave me AIDS! At least I think it was, because he was there for treatment the same time I was.”

Empathizing is not the difficult part of my job, but sometimes comprehending is. What would it be like A) to know you have a deadly autoimmune disease, and B) to see the person who give it to you? I honestly cannot begin to imagine what is going on in her heart, mind, body, or soul… all I can do is love her, listen to her, and “mourn with those who mourn.”

“The woman at the desk saw that I recognized him. She said ‘he’s been getting treatment for a while.’ But I know him! He knows he has AIDS and what he’s doing, Steven. He buys a different girl every night!!

“I talked to my case worker about it and she said I should report him… it’s a crime. So, pray for me, cause I’m going down to the police office to report him. I’m so scared, but someone has to do it so no one else gets sick by him. Those girls have no idea; they were just like me. They don’t know that for $10 they are being killed… a long, lonely, painful death.”

 

$10… I heard very little after that. $10? All of this, the AIDS, the prostitution… all of it is new to me, but $10?! If it was $100 it wouldn’t make it any less sad and terrible. But you want to believe that someone’s body, life, safety, health, and dignity are worth more than $10.

This really changed things for me, because Angie and I have been talking for a long time. One thing that nearly always comes up is her value. To be honest, it's a conversation I have with every battered man and woman I meet. “Whatever you have been told or made to feel, you have value! I value you, and more importantly, God values you, enough to give His Son for you. You deserve better than the life that you’ve had.” I mean these words, every fiber of my being is committed to this belief and to convincing these precious children of God of this truth… and yet it often seems to fall on deaf ears. The reason for this finally hit me. In her mind, Angie is worth $10.

What would you have to go through to lower your worth to that price? That, my brothers, is the true cost of sin. Satan robs me of my worth and leaves me with the guilt and the pain. But, Christ offers forgiveness, He makes me new, He makes me a joint heir, He exalts me from my humble, miserable state, strengthens my weak knees and helps me to stand.

It may take a long time for Angie to experience that, for her to see herself as a precious, beloved, child of the King, but that is why it’s important for someone to commit himself to giving as much time as it takes. This is why it’s important for her to be greeted with love rather than reproach, with a smile instead of a scowl, a prayer and uplifting word in place of a curse, and the love of Christ instead of the judgment of the self-righteous. It is a tall order for someone who has had the luxury of being sheltered from this world must of his life. But Jesus didn’t turn from the woman caught in adultery, he didn’t reject Levi, or Zacchaeus, the tax collectors just because he had never done the things they did. He connected with them in their suffering. He saw their worth, just as He sees Angie’s.  I can’t take her pain away but I can sit with her in that pain. I can show her the love she shows me, and our Lord shows us both.

 “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you…” (Isaiah 43:4 ESV).

Lord of the Harvest

Our God is amazing and he teaches me more of His glory each day. Some lessons, however, are easier to take than others are. In the month of June, we had 13 baptisms! That’s the most we’ve had in any one month this year. The Lord made it clear though, He gave the increase; we just shared in the blessing.

 

Randy looked no older than 18 when he walked through our doors, though he claimed to be older. I knew he’d never been here before, so I asked him to sit and talk with me. He told me, “I don’t want to hear any God talk, I’m not a believer.” So, I offered him what kindness I could, and told him I was still glad to talk to him and asked him to remember me if he changed his mind.

Randy was soon a regular and we talked frequently, but the door to his heart was still closed. Then one day he disappeared. This isn’t unusual, but it saddened me because I’d tried to talk to those around him about God, praying he would take an interest, but now he was out of reach. Oh, how much we convince ourselves we can achieve on our own. A week later, Randy stepped into my office and asked for a Bible. I jumped at the opportunity, but before a word left my mouth, he said, “I don’t want to talk about it. I want to read it on my own.” And read he did.

One week later, Randy stood at my door and asked, timidly, “… do you baptize people here?” You can guess my answer to that question. He was finally ready to talk. “I’m a believer now, and the Bible says believers should be baptized, I’m already working on the repenting part so, I’m ready to be baptized.”

“What changed?” I asked. He said he saw the evil ways people lived and it made him believe there had to be good to counter it. “So I prayed... I didn’t even know where to start, what book, what faith, but that day I saw a cross wherever I looked so I came and got that Bible from here and I just started reading. It was kinda simple from there.”

As I left my office, overjoyed, Margret, another client, was coming to my office. “I’ll be with you as soon as I get back, we’re going to a baptism,” I said. “That’s actually what I came to see you about!”

I could hardly believe my ears. I had to take a moment and thank God for His awesome power. He walked them all the way to the water and just brought me along for the last mile of the way. After the baptisms, we rode back to the ministry, talking about their new church family. Then Margret yelled, “Stop the car! There’s my daughter, I haven’t seen her in ages!”

They spent a little while catching up and then Margret shared Jesus! “Honey I just gave my life to Christ, don’t you think it’s about time you did that?” And she agreed! Sometimes God’s message is as simple and agreeable as “Just be available and I’ll do the rest.” But not all His lessons are that way.

 

Once in a while, a drought follows rain. Satan seemed to block every attempt to bring someone to Christ this July. Some said “tomorrow,” and never showed. Some said, “I know it’s what I need to do but I drank this morning and I want to make sure I’m sober when I do this and that I stay sober this time,” only to show up drunk the next day or disappear. Some even called and said “I’m coming in the morning! Be ready for me,” only to leave me waiting and let their phones ring.

This lesson was hard to swallow, and I wasn’t even sure what the lesson was. Doubt crept in. Maybe I’m not the man for the job, maybe I have forgotten how to show compassion, maybe I should have been harder on them, etc. July 31st came with another failed meeting. Suki had to leave for work as soon as she realized she needed to be baptized. “Meet me early; I really want to be baptized tomorrow before I go to work!” And there I sat in an empty parking lot.

I prayed that the Lord would help me not to be discouraged but to keep my faith in whatever He was doing. Then two women started yelling at each other, “just what I need,” I thought, and stepped out to calm things down. One of the women left and things did calm down.

A few minutes later, Jeannie, the woman who walked out, tapped on my window. “Can you pray with me?” she whispered. When we sat down, she told me that she knew she shouldn’t have yelled but the Lord gave her strength to walk away instead of letting her anger build any further. She said she was really trying to grow in the Lord and I asked if she’d been baptized. She said she wanted to be but needed a church home so that she could really be a part of the church and not just get baptized and walk away. She is now a Christian, in one of our housing programs, and worshiping with us.

 

And what did God teach me? To really wait on Him, and be reminded one more time that this is His work and to see the importance of just one soul.

 “So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” 1 Cor. 3:7

 

Please consider supporting this apprenticeship or River City Ministry. Feel free to forward this newsletter or share our contact information with them. Thank you and God bless you.

 

He Left Everything and Followed Him

“I just woke up one day and knew it all had to stop.” Keshon said when I asked what made him give up drug dealing. Coming to Christ, for him, is about more than changing his mind, saying a few words, and getting dunked—it’s a new life at a high cost.

“You can’t just walk away from the drug game—it follows you. I knew I couldn’t live for God and stay in it, so I walked away. That meant no income, no rent money—so no home—but that wasn’t the worst of it. I stayed in the shelters ‘cause I knew I didn’t need to be around my old friends and their bad ways. When I went out looking for work, I got jumped by one of the other dealers and his guys. I told them I was done, I didn’t want any trouble, I just wanted to live for God. They thought I was a snitch, so they beat the tar out of me and told me that if they ever saw me again they would kill me.”

“I went to the hospital and as I was checking in, I saw someone I knew, but I didn’t think anything of it. I guess they made phone calls, ‘cause when I walked out of the ER, the waiting room was full of people who were mad that I left my old life. I sat down so there would be witnesses around, but one of the other dealers told me ‘you gotta walk back at some point.’”

Keshon feels like there is a target on his back wherever he goes now, but he knows what he has to do. “It’s hard to hang on sometimes. I know I can’t turn my back on God, but it is hard when it’s been days since your last meal, you have no money in your pocket, you’re sleeping under a broke-down truck and you know that in a matter of hours you could have several thousand dollars by dealing.”

“I learned something though, every time I’m put to the test, when I’m not sure how much longer I can make it, and I choose trusting God, He comes through. Someone will offer me some food, or a place to sleep, or I get a call, like today, telling me I got a job! It’s not the kinda money I was making, but God is showing me that He’s enough.”

Keshon was even able to help his uncle to leave his old ways and draw closer to God. I haven’t seen Keshon in a month. I pray he’s just busy working, but I don’t know. Sometimes discipleship comes at a greater cost than we would imagine. Levi walked away from his tax booth and left everything to follow Christ. James and John left their father and the family business. Keshon left friends, family, home, wealth, and puts his life on the line every day.

People like Keshon are why I’m at RCM. God’s message changes lives and is making a real difference here in North Little Rock.

In the 11 months of my RCM apprenticeship, I have helped to lead 140 people to be restored and 47 baptized. I look forward to the opportunities that God allows me in the second year of this apprenticeship.

God bless you all.

“After this, Jesus left the house. He saw a tax collector sitting at the tax booth. The man’s name was Levi. “Follow me,” Jesus said to him. Levi got up, left everything and followed him.” (Luke 5:27-28).

 

A Woman's Worth

We live in a male dominated world. We take a day, like today and "honor" mothers, but I wonder if it only emphasizes the difference in how we treat women every other day of the year. Women have gone from being property to objects, and some days I have trouble seeing the difference.

Women are still sold, just take the awful mass kidnaping that has been on the news for an example. Sex slavery is a real thing, as a matter of fact, there are now more slaves in the world than there were at the height of 1800s. Women are still treated as objects of male fantasy. Women are fed adds representing the image of who every woman "should be." When women don't live up to this image they are ignored, while those who try to become what they see in magazines or on TV are called sluts by the same men who do the fantasizing.

Women are made to feel that if they do not have a career they are "only a mother," as if that was some small and unimportant identity. At the same time, women who do enter the work place are paid less than men doing the same work. Women are viewed as somehow less valuable.

Listen to music or the language boys and men often use and you will find that ladies have been reduced to hoes, sluts, bitches, and whores. Men abuse women sexually, physically, and emotionally and justify and joke about it. Men who refuse to take responsibility for their actions leave women to raise and provide for children on their own and then treat them as lesser beings for being in their situation. Men who stay with their women often act as if they are kings who make all the decisions and cannot be questioned for their actions.

It was not intended to be this way! God did not make men to behave like this, or women to be treated like this. Just take a look at what I mean.

Genesis 2 tells us that God placed man in a beautiful garden, he gave him every tree good for food, beautiful scenery, a source of life everlasting, and a purpose, but something wasn't right.

Everything God created He called good, but then he looked at Adam, alone in the garden and He said "It is not good..." God created man to have a relationship with him, he showered him with blessings, but He saw that for man to be without the woman was "not good."

He said, "I will make the companion he needs, one just right for him." This word translated companion or helper is not best translated this way. It is actually the same word used to describe God over and over in the Old Testament when He is called strong deliverer or savior. God said, man is in a terrible situation, I will make a savior to deliver him from loneliness. But God did not make her right away.

Now, God could have made woman in that moment, but He did not. God does all that He does for a reason. He wanted man to appreciate what he had, so he allowed Adam to come to understand his aloneness and desire deliverance. He brought all the animals before Adam, everything that crawled and everything that flew, but Adam did not find a companion who was right for him. No animal could play the role of savior and deliver Adam form his lonely state. When it says there was no one right for him, the term literally means to stand in front of. There was no one Adam could look at, face to face, eye to eye and share his experience with. No  animal knew what it was to be Adam, when he looked into the eye of the animals and birds, he could see no mirror back into his own soul.

Only when Adam realized this did God act. He caused a deep sleep to come over Adam and He took a rib from Adam's and formed Eve. He did not use one of Adam's toes to form the woman. Had He done this it would suggest that the woman was below the man. He did not use part of Adam's skull to form her either. Had he done this it would suggest that the woman was above the man. No, God took a rib from his side. This was the only one who could stand in front of Adam, an equal, taken from his side.

When God brought her before Adam, he was amazed! In the moment of face-to-face, when he looked into the eyes of his equal, he gained understanding of who he was, he found his identity. He said I am man and she is woman, flesh of my flesh. He used a new word here, the word translated as man, up to this point was Adam, but now he recognizes himself as man because he sees himself and something not himself in the woman, the same, but different.

Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness... So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

The image of God was expressed in man and woman. A complete picture. In seeing this, Adam saw himself cast in a different light. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one. (Gen. 2:24). Because the man's identity is not in his heritage, not in his title, not in his inheritance, but in his wife. What a beautiful picture. Relationship according to God's design.

So what ever happened? Sin! The very next chapter tells of the fall and the curse. We know the story, but there is a part of the curse we seem to always forget, "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

This was not the plan, this was the result of sin, the curse. This explains why it is so hard to leave the man who mistreats and underappreciates you. The woman's desire is no longer toward her God or toward herself, she no longer finds her identity there, her desire is towards the man, and she does not know who she is without him. This allows the man to rule. But there is hope which comes from the seed of woman!

In Christ all are one! Christ is the true savior of all! He delivers us from sin, from death, and from the curse! Your identity is not in any man, it is in your relationship with God.

The woman was made to complete the representation of God in mankind, to deliver the man from his loneliness, and to experience oneness with man and God. What is a woman's worth? God said that without her the crown of His creation was not good, but together they were very good. That is worthwhile!

Women, take pride in the place God has given you. See yourself for who you are. Understand your identity in light of who your God made you to be, not in light of the way you have been treated by anyone. You were made because man needs you, not because you need to put up with any man mistreating you. 

Men, treat your women right. Be a man! Admit your need and treat women with respect remembering that she was made so that you could have an equal.

Things don't have to be so twisted, we can have the relationship God made us for if we are delivered by His Son and live as He guides us. Christ left everything for His bride and he promises her everything. Take a lesson from him.

Redeeming a Reluctant Spirit

“Praise the Lord… his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate… He provides redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever... holy and awesome is his name.” - Psalm 111

We have a great and powerful God and there is nothing He cannot accomplish. Through wonders, signs, and miracles He brings about His will, and He uses whomever He pleases to accomplish it. God uses servants with willing spirits, like Abraham, Joshua, Samuel, and Isaiah. Men who were ready to answer God’s call whenever it came. But what about those with reluctant spirits? What can God really do with them? What does God even want with them? Remember back in Psalm 111:9 when the psalmist said God “provides redemption for His people”? This includes even those with reluctant spirits. God wants to redeem the reluctant spirit, and He is willing to provide whatever it takes.

Jonah is a perfect example of this. God gave Jonah a mission, provided him with an opportunity, and Jonah ran (Jonah 1:1-3). He ran because God’s Spirit prompted him to do something he didn’t want to do. This is often the case when God reveals His will to us. Moses did not want to go to pharaoh, Jonah did not want to go to Nineveh, Jesus did not want to suffer crucifixion and asked for the cup to pass from him. 

 

Sometimes this prompting of the Spirit is an occasion when God makes it clear that there is someone we need to forgive, there is a habit we need to give up, a relationship we need to get out of, or something we need to start doing. Last month, for me, it was a sermon I didn’t want to preach, but God kept bringing me back to it. For Sharon, it was a combination of many things, but it began with giving up her habits.

Sharon was one of the first people I studied with when I came to River City Ministry. She has been growing closer to God, she was baptized last year, but she was stuck in a cycle of bad relationships. The more she read her Bible, the clearer it became to her that she could not please God and keep on having sex when she wasn’t married. Sharon knew this, but she had lived this way so long… the easiest way to deal with it was to act like it wasn’t real, not address her situation, and just stay put.

When God told Jonah to go, he did more than just stay put, he ran the other way. Because of the pains of his past, the cruel things he saw the Assyrians do to his people, Jonah refused to go. He said “…I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity… That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish.” (Jonah 4:2). So he boarded a ship headed to the edge of the known world and God began providing his redemption. “…the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up.” (1:4). God provided the storm to begin the process of bringing Jonah back to Him. When the sailors realized the storm was because of this Jonah running from his God, they asked all about him and Jonah said, “I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land.” (1:8-9). This was something Jonah needed to realize himself. If he took stock of this in the first place, would he have ever tried to flee? Jonah needed to stop and think about who his God was.

 

 

Like Jonah, we need to realize who our God is. When Sharon finally did this, she had to make a change. She told her boyfriend (the man she had called her husband in public because she was ashamed of her sin), “I can’t keep sinning like this, no more sex!” This was a tremendous move for Sharon! But it was only the first step, and there was trouble. You see, Sharon was living with her boyfriend who had started out as a roommate to help with half the rent. She told him he had two choices, he could respect her and keep to his side of the house, or preferably, he could move out. He refused to move and he took the other news even less well. He started beating Sharon. Things seemed to be going from bad to worse, but really, God saw another opportunity to provide Sharon with what she needed.

Jonah saw who God was, and he realized that he was in the wrong, but the only solution was bleak. “’Pick me up and throw me into the sea,’ he replied, ‘and I will become calm…’” (1:12). When the men finally did this the storm stopped and the sailors worshiped the one true God. Sinking into the sea, Jonah thought this was the end, but hey, at least he got out of going to Nineveh. Little did he know, God was not done with him. God did not want Jonah dead, he wanted him redeemed.

“Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.”(1:17, emphasis added). God provided Jonah an escape from death, he preserved Jonah’s life, and even though he was stuck in the belly of a huge fish, he was alive. It may have been a miserable three days, but it got Jonah out of deaths grips and back where he needed to be.

 

This time when God told Jonah to go to Nineveh, that is exactly what Jonah did (3:2-3). He preached, as swiftly as he could (only saying “forty days and Nineveh will be destroyed”), and went away and pouted (3:4-4:3). He was still too angry, too hurt by his past to move on and forgive as God was ready to forgive.

Sharon’s time in the deep came too. She dealt with the sin problem but she was still stuck in the same kind of abusive and destructive relationship that she knew since childhood. This time, when the abuse got worse, she considered suicide. Like Jonah, she thought, “I’m going to die, but at least I will be done with this life.” But God did not want Sharon to die, he wanted her to be redeemed. God provided Sharon with something that she did not have the last time she was in this kind of relationship. God provided a family for her; a father in heaven who she now knew to be a loving and caring God, and church family, friends who she knew loved her and would help. And help they did.

Jonah needed some help too, and, as always, God provided. When the whole city of Nineveh repented, Jonah was so filled with anger and self-pity that, again, he wanted to die (4:1-4). “Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant.” (4:6, emphasis added). But God was not done, “But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered.” (4:7). Then Jonah became so angry he wished he was dead (that’s pretty angry). But God provided the plant and the worm so He could provide Jonah a lesson; “But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”’ (4:10-11).

 

We don’t know if Jonah got the message, if he changed his ways and got the redemption God offered. But Jonah’s response is not the most important thing. What is more important to see is what God was willing to provide to redeem Jonah, if he would just reach out and take it. What may be even more important is what God was able to accomplish with such a reluctant spirit. The storm was because of Jonah, but it was for the sailors. God used Jonah and the storm to bring the sailors to the one true God. God used a prophet who hated those to whom he preached, yet they all repented. God’s will was accomplished, and Jonah could not stand in the way of it. Look at all the people in this book for whom God provided redemption!

I am proud to say that Sharon found her redemption, not just the redemption of her soul, but also the redemption of her relationship, life, body, and image. She was able to find help at RCM and RCC. She is now out of that relationship and looking for a man who cares more about God than himself, a man who cares about her, and God, enough to wait, to treat her right, and to marry her. She turned to God and her church family rather than taking her life. She is now living alone and is safe. And, God has revealed how precious he believes Sharon to be, which has helped her to find healing and rediscover the image of God that he placed within her. And as great as her story is, like Jonah, Sharon’s story may not even be about her, it may be about those around her who hear her story and turn to God because of it.

In the end, God wants the same thing for a willing and a reluctant spirit, redemption. The truth is, no one, not even Abraham, Joshua, and Samuel were always willing, and Moses and Jonah were not always reluctant, like us, they were some of both. Either way we choose to be, God will accomplish His will. But if we surrender, we will find that God provides opportunities for growth, which, although painful at times, lead to redemption. If we stand in His way, God will still accomplish His will, He may just have to run over us to do it.

 

Sharon's story is far from over. She is struggling to come out of her past and into the life God wants for her. Please pray for her to have the strength and determination to cling to God rather than harmful relationships.